Surrender in September
We all know our limits, don’t we? Are you at yours? I cannot tell you how many Labor days I struggled with over the years.
Somehow it seems like the stop/start of the different seasons are markers of beginning and endings. It‘s a blurred line when fall crosses into winter, winter into spring, but summer? Summer has defined borders. Memorial Day is the start and Labor day it’s finished`.
A drinking summer meant that if I hadn’t quit by Memorial Day, I would be drinking all summer. Sitting at that first campfire with the entire summer stretching out in front of me, I was very, well, let us say, quite pleased with myself. I am a planner, and I knew my plan for the summer included drinking. BUT, I had an excellent strategy in place to get me to Labor Day without any drinking issues. Issues such as blackouts, bruises from walking into who knows what, embarrassing my kids, and hangovers, just to name a few.
I would make a list of rules that went something like this:
No drinking before 5:00
No hard liquor during the week
Don’t drink alone
Drink one large glass of water in between any alcohol
No drinking on Sunday (insert eye roll here)
Limit yourself to two drinks during the week and three on weekend nights
That’s the shortlist. From one summer to the next, these rules were made and broken—numerous times.
So, by the time Labor Day arrived, I was ready to dry out, literally. Especially because Labor day itself is the worst holiday ever, it is Labor lol.
Closing up the trailer, cleaning the trailer, yelling at the kids to help, and feeling like crap the entire time. Then you get home with a full carload of ten years of laundry, half-full ketchup bottles, numerous bags with chip clips, half of a half-gallon of milk, and a ton of microwave popcorn. Out of this, you hope to salvage something to make some kids lunches for the next morning.
First up, unpacking the cooler, I would lovingly cradle the box of wine in my hands. Why didn’t I throw it away? I shouldn’t have brought it home, but you know why you did, just in case. I might need it to get over the hump. So, I would have a glass or three to get through the rest of this very long day. I would relax, do the minimum of unpacking, leave the ten loads of laundry for tomorrow. Maybe order pizza to fill the carb craving pit of my stomach and head to bed early just to wake up at 3 am sweating like a pig and a heart pounding with anxiety.
I did it again.
Can you relate to any of this? I know someone does because the longer I’m sober, the more I hear that I’m not the only one that continuously lived with revolving drama around drinking.
Maybe it’s not drinking for you, but you are thinking of something else that is frequently on your mind? The conversation in your head is the same, no matter what it is.
I shouldn’t-I won’t-I am-I can’t believe I did it again-what the heck is wrong with me? I have to stop!
Does all of this have a little ring of familiarity to you? If it does, do me a favor and fill in the blanks in these sentences.
I can’t believe a whole summer has gone by and I am still ________________________________________________ .
My _____________________________is at an all time high.
I swore last year when summer ended, never again. Now, here I am again, another summer is past and I am
After this weekend I am quitting _______________________________.
Do you want to go through this weekend with a little peace knowing there is an end in sight? You’ve made rules before; hows that working for you? I know for me it was a failed repeat of the summer before.
The Surrender in September challenge starts Tuesday, the 8th. Join me for 21 days of breaking free from whatever you put in those blanks. Find community, resources, and accountability. Head over to shesurrenders.com and click on the challenge tab. There you will find more information.
Maybe you have said goodbye to the monkey on your back earlier this year, and good for you! Perhaps you need a little reinforcement to keep going. Recovery from anything is tricky, and it helps to keep your head in the right thinking. Maybe you want a reset. Join for whatever reason you like, knowing you will be transitioning into a whole new life season feeling better physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Let’s do this together - it’ll be great. Sign up today and together with God we will do this one day at a time.
See you soon!
Blessings and peace on your weekend,