I can’t believe it but it is already almost the end of the weekend, and I have no idea where it went! However, If I look at the pile of empty boxes, I guess I can see what I’ve been up to.
All of this unpacking has led me to start an interesting pile of white elephant gifts! So all those weirdo items I have no idea why I kept, have led me down the thought train of holiday parties, gift giving, and grocery lists for what I need to bring to what. Yesterday, I was feeling a little sarcastic about all of it,so I thought I would channel that into some useful tips for all of you heading off to holiday parties in the weeks to come.
So here’s a top ten list David Letterman Style and if you are to young to know what that is, I suggest you google it.
Top ten ways holiday parties change when you attend or host sober
1. Your fellow party goers look at you with extra love and affection when you arrive. They now see the new possibilities of sober you as a possible designated driver.
2. Sober you now says “no thank you” when asked if you want to karaoke.
3. Your first waking thought, the morning after the party is not “WHAT DID I DO LAST NIGHT?” You remember it all.
4. You have an instant re-gift for another party when they bring you a bottle of wine for a hostess gift.
5. You give yourself permission to enjoy as much of the food as you want. When dessert comes out later, everyone else is too trashed to see you pack a to-go container of sweets. Perfect for your Netflix binge later that night.
6. Speaking of Netflix, you leave when you want to. If it‘s early, you are okay with it, because your bed, dessert, and Netflix sound AMAZING!
7. You are now the person on the other end of those conversations where the drunk person sobs on you about their sick cat, or something else made more dramatic with every drink they take. This kind of sucks, but paybacks...
8. You look good in every selfie your inebriated friend takes with you (and posts.)
9. You do not carry a “wine bag” or whatever you call those purses that conceal wine. Instead you buy a fabulous designer purse because you no longer carry a wine bag and the reward system works well for you.
10. When you are the hostess of the party you call the shots, meaning there won’t be any. If people aren‘t okay with that, it doesn’t bother you one bit. If they don’t like you, or your new party guidelines, they probably weren’t that good of friends anyway right?
I hope you enjoyed this edition of She Surrenders Top Ten. It’s ok to laugh at ourselves once and awhile. I did a lot of stupid things in my drinking days and try not to be over sensitive about my self inflicted stupidity at parties back in the day.
Have a safe and fun party season ok? It doesn’t need to be about the alcohol. Be responsible and true to who you are and if someone doesn’t get it, see number ten.