The definition of calm from Webster’s: a quiet and peaceful state or condition.
In keeping with the studying of disciplines from the book I am reading, I have moved into new territory. The disciplines of Freedom were Abstinence, Simplicity, Stillness, and Forgiveness. I have learned a lot from these disciplines so far and plan on continuing to do what I can to practice them in my everyday life. That first one was a little challenging. Halloween should be a sugar freedom day.
The next ones are the disciplines of Fortitude. Skipping ahead to look at what they were, I knew this was going to be challenging: Meditation, Prayer, Obedience, and Reticence. First of all, the first two are like playing the quiet game for me. Whoever breaks the silence first loses. I always lost as a kid and with my own kids. Obedience? Didn’t we kind of cover that already? That last one, Reticence? Not even sure what that is.
So with a big sigh, I looked up Fortitude and it did not disappoint, “Strength of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage.” Great. Moving right along I went to Meditation - of which the word calm was prevalent in the description.
Hence the app. I downloaded a calm app and started exploring different ways to meditate. No luck, the shortest meditation was twelve minutes and that won’t work for me. I need to start slow. Maybe a two minute meditation. I decided to go back to the book and see what it instructed. (Notice I was kind of doing this like a guy would. Don’t read directions just jump in. Sorry men, but that’s what I was reminded of.)
In an nutshell, the purpose of meditation is to seek wisdom. To soak in the truth that God reveals to us instead of the world.
Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God-what is good, acceptable, and perfect. - Romans 12:2
Meditation is asking me to set aside regular time daily to do this each day. It encourages me to read scripture in a quiet time and reflect on how God wants me to apply it. I was golden! I do this every morning!
Ahh, but then came part two:
Basically all of the above applies to me.
Yes, I am totally confused as to why some things are happening in my life and in my family's. His name is Otto. I'm trusting God completely in this, but my human nature still wants to know why!
Do not ask me what I heard last Sunday in church or read in my devotions this morning. It was all so good in the moment and I always write down lots of key points and verses but I couldn’t quote one thing just a few hours later. The rest of them apply as well. Especially that last one. I write down a lot of scripture each morning but unless I keep it in front of me all day I don’t remember it at all. Hence the cluttered mind. I get mad too because scripture is my armor of protection and if I don’t have it ready to go, I have no weapon against all things twisted in my world.
As I was writing this, I started paging through my journal I write in every morning. Any scripture I copy is written in a red pen. Anyone else’s words that I read and want to remember I write in blue. My everyday writing is in black. There is a ton of red in my journal, and as I paged back through the last week I marveled at how I didn’t even recall writing some of it. How would I feel if someone read my book (someday) and later said, “I don’t remember a word she said.” Terrible! I believe that's how God feels though when it goes in one ear and right out the other.
How am I going to work on this. Technology of course! Maybe take a picture of something that was close to my heart at 6 am and then look at it through out the day. Might have to ask Siri to remind me. More technology.
This is what I wrote this morning. (I would’ve written neater if I had known I was going to share it.) When my devotional told me to go to this verse I was like, “What could there be in Samuel?” This.
“God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.”
The more I reflect as I write I am stunned by how meaningful it is to me. I am sober because when I opened my heart to God he rewrote my life. I shudder to think where I would be today if I had not answered him when he gave me this amazing chance at a new life in him.
It doesn’t stop with that though, there is so much more waiting for me. And you. I'm going to give this meditation thing a try. There is no right or wrong way to do it so I can make it my own. I just have to do it. I’ve already got a great start in my morning routine, I just have to carry it through the rest of the day.
I challenge you to do the same. Let me know what works for you, I would love some input! And thank you for all the emails/messages you have written to me lately. They mean so much to me and really encourage me just when I need it most.
Yoga is another great way to meditate (so a good friend tells me.) I’m not ready for yoga yet, but stranger things have happened.
Peace on your weekend,