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Dads

Did you whack any moles this week? I did for 5 days straight and then I went to a wedding with a “candy bar.” I should just leave this one alone, but I want to share something with you. In the moment I simply wanted to enjoy myself, so I did. I didn't go nuts or anything. I might have thrown a few things in my purse for later…


What I did not do was beat myself up too much. We were celebrating my nephew and my new niece’s special day. There’s going to be more of those times this summer. My goal was to go all summer, 90 days, no sugar but that is a tad extreme (I am sure you agree.) So, I am going to save it for special occasions. Weddings, birthdays, and the occasional ice cream stop on our bikes.  The important thing is going to be not “whacking this mole” everyday. I don’t have room for that drama in my head.  I do not want another substance (sugar) to be a codependent behavior in my life (anymore.) 


How I am I going to do that ? First of all, I'm trying to lose this black or white lifestyle I keep trying to create for myself. If only you could see Craig’s face when I announce yet another committed endeavor meant to better myself. He’s got it nailed actually. He nods wisely and gives me a supportive answer, but yet keeps his mouth shut when I come back from the candy bar with a handful of tootsie rolls. He’s a good man. 


I did use an old acronym from AA before I approached the “bar.” H.A.L.T: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Am I any of those things in this moment? Nope, I just want some candy! I have always tried to remember my HALT acronym and it has helped me in many moments. Recently I heard a podcast where a woman was talking about her need for sugar. How when she was craving the comfort of sweets, she was actually just lonely. So she found out that a hug took care of that. I thought about it, gave Craig a hug, and nope! I still want candy, plain and simple.


Anyway, on to this week's topic - speaking of good men!

Last week, I'd said the codependency talk was going to continue. It will. Next week. I wanted to talk about dads this week. This Sunday we celebrate 100 years of Father's Day! I can’t ignore that and after all, this weekend is all about them!


On Sunday we will be celebrating with lots of grilling - all things meat. Also some birthdays and swimming at my daughter's house. We are calling it Hoppen Paloozza. Should be fun - I’ll let you know how that goes. 


So who do I think about on this dad honoring day? My dad? My husband and son? My son-in-law who is about to be a dad? I think I will start with our number one Father: God.


We all have an earthly father (whether you know him or not he had to be there) and a heavenly Father. I think the title of Father is pretty big. I mean our men have some pretty big shoes to fill!


We are all created in God's image, but earthly dads share the same name as our heavenly Father. That is a big title to live up to! I am sure it is impossible to remember that every day though.


Our heavenly Father is patient. How many earthly dads are patient when the baby has been screaming all night? The teen is not answering her phone and it's an hour past curfew, or your adult child is still living at home, on your couch, playing video games all day. Not easy to be patient in those scenarios or many others. Like I said, these earthly dads have big shoes to fill.


Best comparison that trumps all is our heavenly Father loves unconditionally. Most fathers can always answer that no matter what they've done, they love their child unconditionally.  


Now that I am 50 (still can’t believe that) I have a perspective on Fatherhood as a daughter, wife, and mother.


My husband and I are reminded often lately, that you are never done parenting. Definitely  different for dads then it is for moms. No matter what, kids always look to their fathers for approval. They look to mom for many things too, but hey we already did Mother's Day so I am not going to elaborate and let Dad have his day in the sun.


The role of a father changes as your children grow. I go to my dad for many different things now that I am an adult. It is no longer about the keys to the car, it is more about emotion. I can always count on my dad for a smile and hug. Not to mention, support in whatever I am doing. My personality is a lot like his and if you know us, you would probably agree. 

My husband is a great dad. Our kids always look to him for guidance. They respect him and listen to him in many areas of life. A kid's respect has to be earned. You cannot tell someone to respect their father if he hasn't done anything to earn that. With that then comes love and devotion for him.

Craig & Olivia - Summer 1998

My son is a father too and he is learning all of this. Right now that little guy worships the ground he walks on and it melts my heart. They are expecting another son in September and I get all mushy when I think about my boy surrounded by these little guys. It is such an awesome thing to watch your children parent and do it well. How do I know they are doing it well? They are doing the best they can with what they know and they are raising him to love Jesus. I couldn't ask for more.

Lastly, there is my son-in-law. His little goldfish is coming this August. It has been a journey to get there as they have lost a child and now are anticipating some hard stuff with this little one as well. Through it all I have seen him love and protect my daughter and in turn, protect his unborn child. He is already a father. A father who has known joy and pain in both pregnancies and has stayed true to God in all of it. A truly beautiful thing that will always serve him well as he raises this child. 

photo credit: Leah Mullett Photography

Reading this might be painful for some of you as you might not have a dad here this Sunday.  That is hard and I cannot imagine. The truth is though, you do have a Father, always. He loves you more than you could ever imagine.  

Make sure to wish your heavenly Father a Happy Father's Day. He doesn't want a card or cologne, just your love and faithfulness always.


Peace and Blessings to you on this Fathers Day Weekend.

Sherry

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