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To resolute or not to resolute

I've found a happy medium for this whole first of the year thing in a simple verse.

"I will make right choices that honor God and lead to holiness rather than constant indulgences that lead to defeat." Romans 6:19 (msg)

There you have it, my new years resolution. It's all covered. No rulebook of what to say or not to say. No written out diet or exercise plan. No shopping do's or don'ts (ok maybe a couple). Trying to focus on the affirmation of this verse.

Right choices. I want to live a life that honors God in all of my decisions, not just part-time work. This needs to go full-time this year. My compromises to God and myself lead me down the wrong road. The road of distraction, indulgence, time wasting, and negativity. I know we are always a work in progress, but I need to stop excusing myself with that line. "Hey, I'm a work in progress doing the best I can" but am I really? Doing my best? Like my report cards always used to say; there is room for improvement.

My favorite line from AA is to, "do the next right thing" and it is so true. If you do that the decision making process is much easier. It was pointed out to me this week that I like to preach it but I was not living it in a certain situation. I don't want to share it here because it involves others but I can say that my headstrong stubborn mindset was pointed out by my husband and best friend. It didn't help that every devotion I subscribe to had something to say about it the next day. Thank you Proverbs 31, First 5 and Verse of the Day. Geez, enough already. I get it.

If I had been living my goal in the verse above, the conflict would have never happened. Upon realizing that I knew what work I had ahead of me this year. So I'm going to start a new book in my life. Trying to stay consistent in all I do.

I love this quote. It reminds us that we are all authors. It is a good reminder to edit the content of our lives before we have to write it down.

Do I have hopes, dreams, and goals for the new year? Of course I do! I'm just going to do it starting with one simple, attainable rule that will keep the rest of life going a little smoother this year.

Do the next right thing. For me, the new year starts with a lovely indulgent dinner with my husband, Olivia, and Big Landon and fireworks on the beach if it's not raining (which it has been everyday) compliments of the Florabama.

I'm not going to lie, New Years Eve was the hardest one to accept sober. We gave up the dinner party with friends and spent a few years alone. Our choice, but still hard. It took a fear years to get past the FOMO. On the flip side, the easiest holiday to accept sober is by far New Year's Day! I wake up early and feel amazing. If we're south I've taken an early morning walk and had the whole beach to myself. Stayed in my pjs all day eating junk food and watching football. Not because I feel like crap, but just because I can. My mind is at peace and not fearful of all the rules I need to set around my drinking this year, wondering if this will be the year "I get it under control." None of that.

If you are new to recovery and are wondering if you can make it through the big New Years Eve, let me assure you. You can. It's a few hours of drinking that will bring you shame, guilt, and regret to start 2019. Not worth it. Anytime I was tempted to drink in those moments I gave myself a pass. That if I still want to drink tomorrow I can if I want to. I have never wanted to.

I am excited for 2019! The two biggies being building a house and our daughter's wedding but there are also the little things. Little boys growing, aspirations for my ministry, special times with friends and family, and more travels just to name a few.

I don't know what 2019 holds but I do know this: It's all planned out. It's not up to me.

I just have to do the next right thing.

Peace and Blessings on the New Year!



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