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My Biggest Failure

One of the books I am reading right now is The Seven Decisions by Andy Andrews.

I always have two books going at the same time. I call them the teaching book and the getaway book. The teaching book is full of highlights and notes in my journal, I usually read out of this one in the morning or at sometime during the day when I need a pick me up or feel stressed and in need of some down time. Works every time. There is always something new to learn and relate to.

The getaway book is my beach read, my sit on the deck after dinner read, my before bed read and always a vacation read. I’m reading Emily Giffin’s newest one now. It is a really good read. If you're already a fan of hers, this one isn’t fluff. Very thought provoking

There are lessons to be learned from both, even though the Emily Giffin book is for entertainment. The lesson in her's is to never say, “My kid would never do something like that.” Good reminder.

The lessons in The Seven Decisions are many though. It's had me asking myself many questions and being honest about my answers.

This week's lesson I have been focusing on is...What is your biggest failure?

I know this one. No time needed to mull it over. Hands down, it is giving in to my addiction and hurting all those I love. Robbing me of precious years with my family.

I agree with this quote because, oh my, what I have learned! That it did not define me, I’m stronger than I ever thought I was, with God I am unstoppable, that God led me out of the pit, that wounds can heal, that love can be reborn. That last one. Love can be reborn. The relationships I have now with family and friends are deeper, stronger, and better than I ever imagined.

Craig and I were out on the boat this past weekend. Just the two of us (a rarity) and Lake Michigan was like glass (another rarity.) I asked him what was the hardest thing he had ever been through. Keep in mind we have been through some hard stuff in the losing-the-ones-we-love category. He didn’t even have to think about it, “Those last few weeks of your drinking.” I hate that I caused him so much pain. I was oblivious to what he was going through - I was only focused on me.

I know he agrees with me: when I quit, we walked in to the classroom of success.

Yes, when I quit drinking I opened the door to the classroom of success. I don't think there is a verse in the Bible which describes the rewards of quitting drinking to me better than that one.

I can’t get back the time I lost. It is important for me to look at what I have gained from the experience. I want you to know: no matter what pit you are in, you are in God’s classroom right now. He is the teacher and you need to carry out the assignments he is is giving you. Believe me they are there. God makes a lesson plan for our lives, whether we follow it or not, is on us.

I think of all the lessons God gave me to learn, that I tried to do my way. Kind of like doing a book report without reading the book. I wanted the good grade, the reward, the benefit, without doing the work. I not only let him down, I let myself down.

It is amazing the perspective you gain after you have had time to grow from something hard and painful. I am grateful, because without it, those years would be a complete waste. Good for nothing. God makes good out of everything. Even addiction.

I’ve been sharing my Favorite Sobriety Moments on Social Surrender, I encourage you to join the conversation. To recognize a moment each day where you are grateful for the journey.

Remember, each day the sun will rise and set. No matter what. Make the most of it. Even the worst ones. So that no matter what, you can see beauty at the end of it. Just like the sunset.

Peace on your weekend.



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