Impulse (aka Self Control)
I sat down to write this week's post and it was not the title you see. Thus defining the word, right? I totally had something else in mind and then this happened, on impulse.
Not going to lie, I am overwhelmed this week with some deadlines and it’s kicking my butt. Thank goodness I have an understanding husband and a great friend working alongside me in the process.
Oh and there’s this little distraction today named Otto, but certainly not in a bad way. I simply can't resist him! I mean, could you? The impulse to keep playing with him and make him laugh is one I have absolutely no control over!
Side-note: Our sweet Otto is doing so well. On the 13th he gets a g-tube which means no more white tape mustache! Can’t wait to kiss his whole face and not worry he’s going to yank that tube out on my watch. Thank you so much for your continued prayers for Otto and his parents.
Anyway, back to impulse. I’ve always said that impulse was my enemy. My instant demise. The unplanned fall. The times that I was on the slippery sobriety slope and my drinking was usually not a calculated, well thought out decision. It was impulsive and a direct result of not being ready for whatever was coming at me or being somewhere I shouldn’t be. Like sitting at a bar. Duh.
Then there’s the kid (me) in the candy store… The sugar shit show. Sorry, but that’s what I call it in my mind. I can have the best plan in the world, but it is the impulsive decision to have that sweet satisfaction on my tongue that is my crash and burn every time.
I recently (very recently) joined a challenge. My friend and fitness expert Nikki challenged me to 90 days without sugar and she would do it with me. She was already doing the whole 30 (of course she was,) but said she would meet me where I was. I love that!
Isn’t that what we need to do for each other? Meet people where they are? In my case, it works. I know I am only on day 2 for the ten millionth time and I am going on vacation. However, I'm also competitive so the thought of having to admit my failure to anyone but me is a game changer as well.
So how do I do this? Especially on vacation, when my usual mantra is, “Everyone else is drinking. I certainly can have dessert." Stay tuned.
I fight impulses all day long. Especially when working, which for me, is all on the computer. Impulse check my email, impulse check Facebook and/or Instagram. Impulse wander through the kitchen for a not needed snack. Impulse read instead of write. Impulse… you get the idea.
Why don’t I get the impulse to do 20 pushups? How about the impulse to binge on broccoli? I don’t see either of those happening.
“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around looking for someone to devour.” -1 Peter 5:8
Amen to that. He circles me like a hungry bear all day long.
I found this little reminder to keep on my phone (instead of writing on my fingers) and I think they are all good places to remind ourselves to be before I lose self control in anything.
All of those things add up to self control and might help me to pause in the moment. It reminds me of the AA saying about HALT. When I am tempted to drink tick off these questions in my mind and see if one of these things needs to be taken care of. Am I Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? Those are all good questions and if I am tempted to drink, chances are I am lacking in one of those.
The only one I disregard as unrelated is the pinkie. Willpower, because I have none.
His will, not mine.
Peace on your Weekend,