My daughter wrote a blog post this week about being sick of the “mommy wine culture.” (You can read about it here.)
There has been a lot of discussion about this topic going around in my world. My world - meaning the social media I follow about addiction and recovery. That is why my heart was so happy that my kiddo posted about it. Being bold and trying to bring a new awareness to those who might need to re-think their relationship with alcohol.
I know firsthand how easy it is to get sucked in to the it’s-okay-to-drink-when-you're-stressed way of thinking. I may have started drinking when I was stressed... then I drank when I was sad, then I drank when I was mad, I drank when I was happy, I drank in a crowd, and then I drank alone.
My day revolved around my first drink. The first drink to wind down and watch Oprah (yeah I know,) then another while cooking dinner, then another to to enjoy after dinner while cleaning up dishes. Lastly, (if there was any left) another to wind down after the kids were in bed. That glass of wine turned into a bottle that turned into a bottle and a half and eventually two bottles. Every. Single. Night.
Then, there was the day my hubby asked me if I was drinking before he got home. That made me mad and defensive. I thought, “I’ll show him,” and hid it. I'd pour us each a glass when he came in and pretend it was my first one. Taking a sip as he approached me for a kiss so it was plausible that I had wine on my breath. Oh the conniving, the lies, the secrecy. And that’s just a snippet of the whole story.
Here is my point. Don’t think for one moment it’s okay to drink “just this one time” because you are mad or stressed. Like Abby said in her blog, “ I have to constantly ask myself why am I drinking this?" Smart girl. She is aware. She is the child of an alcoholic so she has to be extra careful. If alcoholism runs in your family, be warned. You are playing with fire.
I’m not one to tell my adult kids not to drink, but I do feel like awareness is key. We have had some really good conversations about drinking and I am always up for more. So many beautiful things have happened in my family since I quit drinking, but if I could choose one more thing as a result of quitting it would be this:
To break the generational sin of addiction in my family.
To never see my children struggle with addiction. That their children would not have to go through what they did. To give my grandchildren a better shot at not becoming an alcoholic themselves. For every generation to put more and more distance between them and addiction.
I was scrolling through my pictures of all the events this past month. I wanted to find one that I thought to myself, “I am so glad I am sober and get to live this life with those I love - without mentally checking out for any of it."
It's a beautiful thing that I had a hard time choosing just one, isn’t it? I finally chose this one because I remember the joy in that moment and saying to myself, “Thank you God for this life.” I say that a lot because I am so very grateful. Grateful that I wasn’t numb in any way from the joy I was feeling in this picture. If only I knew then what I know now. But I didn’t, so I must learn from it and move forward. And I am.
Am I drinking too much or too often?
I read somewhere once that if you were asking yourself this question, then you probably are.
I asked that of myself and ignored the answer. Don’t make the same mistake I did. People that don’t have any issues with alcohol whatsoever have no reason to ever even think of that question. It’s a good question to ask yourself, but it is also is a red flag that you might want to pay attention to. It goes along the same line as why am I eating this when I'm not hungry or why am I buying this when I don’t need it.
Don’t try to numb yourselves to the life experiences that were brought your way for a reason. You were made for great things. You can do hard things. You can savor the best things.
I found another great article on the mommy wine culture I recommend reading. The quote below is from this article:
… WINE HAS PRACTICALLY BECOME THE MUST-HAVE ACCESSORY FOR MODERN MOTHERHOOD.
An accessory? Not a good one. It flatters no one. Stick with shoes. They last longer and don’t give you a hangover.
Real moms don’t need wine. Now that should be a t-shirt.
Have a blessed holiday weekend,
Sherry