Updated: Aug 18
Where have you seen that line before?
If you are like me (and the friend who gave me the idea for this post,) it comes from those incredibly wordy, ad-filled online recipes that bless you with a little byline at the top.
Oh, the relief of it! You don't have to suffer through the creator's family story of how Aunt Mabel cultivated the soil for the potatoes or the legend about the goat Cousin Jeb raised that made the crusty cheese for the topping.
However, if it's not there, You start the endless scroll, occasionally stopping to hit the tiniest x you can imagine to get the ads to stop, just in case "jump to recipe" is hidden behind one of them.
You want to scream, "just give me the cheesy potato recipe!"
Finding the recipe becomes a jackpot moment, but what if it's not the right one? You are doomed to another endless scroll in your hunt for the recipe you need. And with a big sigh of frustration, you start over.
What's the point here? Maybe I just gave you a tip about recipe searching you didn't know existed?
That tip works for recipes but not for sobriety.
If you are addicted to alcohol or another substance, how often have you googled the recipe to escape this situation? Then how many times did you "jump to the recipe" to see what method this person used?
For me, it was more times than I could count.
I would read a blog or listen to a podcast, always fast-forwarding to the ending.
How did she do it? Cut to the solution!
Aka, jump to recipe.
She went to rehab? Not I.
Jesus? I know him already, and it's not helping.
AA? I'm not too fond of groups.
Celebrate Recovery? That's like my whole night!
Therapy? I tried it, and it didn't help, so I didn't talk about my drinking.
Confide in a close friend? How will we be drinking buddies on Friday night if I do that?
So these women succeeded in getting sober, but I only heard the answer to their chosen method rather than the process they used to get there. Like a recipe, I want the ingredients but not the origin of it. So I just kept scrolling to the end without reading about what happened in between. As I said, it works for a recipe but not recovery.
I say this because there are two different reactions when I am talking with someone who has reached out for support and I tell them about the love of God and the process that led me to my moment of surrender.
#1 Listening closely, she nods with tears streaming down her cheeks.
#2 A look of dismay followed by impatience to end the discussion. She doesn't want to hear the hows and whys. She listens to my how and has most likely heard it before from someone else. She wants the quick fix, the instant answer she will never find.
The good stuff is in the middle here, my friends. Read the books, listen to the podcasts, and talk to those who used to drink in your shoes. And don't just get to the how. Listen to the heart of the story; that's where the healing begins. If you don't know where to start, I'd be happy to share the best option yet.
Peace on Your Weekend,