I wanted to end my little series on "Cheers to Five Years" before the holidays, so here I am! I've been writing about some key things that happened in each year as I continued in my sobriety journey.
I wrote last time from the beach in Mexico. My gift to myself for hitting the five year mark. I've been to the beaches of Mexico, Aruba, Hawai, Grand Cayman, and Bermuda in the last five years, and every trip was amazing. They were all alcohol free for me, but on those trips I am surrounded by booze! Everything revolves around a constant happy hour on most of our business trips, and although I have learned to keep my head in a good place and enjoy myself, it took time. It has only been the last year or so that I don't find myself bracing myself for the onslaught of alcohol in my face 24/7.
This last visit to Mexico was alcohol free in all ways. There wasn't any to be found. Bonus!!! It was a week of healthy eating, sunning, and great conversation. Proving once again that you can pee your pants laugh and be completely sober. That you can have conversations that bond you with someone else that knows exactly how you feel. You remind yourself that self care is not selfish as you are getting your second rooftop massage of the week.
After one of those massages I stood up wrapped in a sheet and just wept for the beauty of where I am in this life. The peace that passeth all understanding that I feel every single day. No one could have told me about this, I wouldn't have believed it if they tried. It is impossible to put in to words what I have been brought to. All because I surrendered and said, "I give up, I cannot do this anymore." I didn't know what life was going to look like sober, but it had to be better than the haze of alcohol I was existing in.
The more I grow in sobriety, the more His plans for me are revealed. I have learned not to ask what they are, but instead graciously accept them as they come. Writing, speaking, teaching, connecting, whatever it is, I just say ok.
You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever; he will always protect us.
Earlier this year my good friend Carolyn texted me and said she kept hearing a word meant for me and needed to pass it on. Sidenote here, she is an incredible woman of God so when she texts me this, I pay attention. The word was More. Specifically this:
"She is my champion, my gold medal champion. I will champion her for more than she can ask for, think, or imagine. She has been faithful, obedient, and humble. She has made this about me. For my glory. More, just more."
I do not take this lightly. There is not one line in that text that would have described me in my drinking days. This is what God can do my friend. For me and for you. Surrender whatever it is that is holding you back from more, just more.
I am on fire with plans for where God is taking this ministry. God willing I will be starting a recovery group just for women, hosting and speaking at a retreat with Journey of Hope Yoga, doing a chapel at a college, and writing of course. Yes, I am trying to find balance in this beautiful chaos. I'm not worried about it though. He wouldn't bring me to it if he wasn't going to bring me through it.
Remember that in the busy week ahead!
Peace & Blessings,
PS Email me if you would like more information on the meetings and retreats being planned!