I had the pleasure of giving the blessing at a baby shower last weekend. I was honored to be asked and it was truly an emotional moment. I have known this family for over thirty years. How can our babies be having babies!? Seems like us grandmas were just the little mamas. Oops - just passed a mirror, reality check. I’m not.
I’m not complaining. I absolutely adore being grandma and am so excited for my friend to join the club. Truly the best club I have ever been a part of. This is the scripture I used for the blessing and I learned a few things as I read these very familiar verses:
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.
- Psalm 139:13-16 (MSG)
This doesn’t just apply to newborn babies, it’s talking about every one of us. How often do you say to yourself when you're down, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” I can say for myself, it's not very often and certainly not often enough.
I whisper it in my grandsons' ears all the time. Especially when they are napping on my shoulder and I feel their warm breath on my cheek. It brings me to tears and I whisper to them, “You are fearfully and wonderfully made,” and then my add-on, “And grandma loves you so much.” Those are precious, precious moments I will always cherish.
The line that really stuck out to me that yes, I am sure I had heard before but had not payed much attention to: “All the stages of my life were spread out before you.”
I looked at this and it reminded me that my life is a book God has already written. I couldn’t help but wonder what chapter God is on with me. I thought about asking him, but I'm pretty sure I already know the answer. God, in all his wisdom, would most likely say to me, “Does it matter? Just do your best everyday. It shouldn’t change the way you live your life."
As I said last week - I like to know the plan. That means, where is the bookmark in my life today? What chapter are we on?
I decided to think about the stage I am in right now. Often, we are focusing on what we need to do in the future. I need to be better about today.
So I decided to look at where I am right now, in this moment. I’m 51, so I pray we are somewhere in the middle of my life book, but I have no idea.
All the New Year stuff wanted to get in my face, but this feels different. More about today than the whole year ahead. If I look at just today, it reminds me of an AA saying, "Just for today." So that's my focus: today.
Today I woke up in a slump, not enough sleep and kind of bitchy. Does that mean I'm just going to be a bitch all day? Guess not, even though I kind of want to. God has my day planned and it's up to me to follow the instructions no matter how much I don’t want to. He’s given me responsibilities to my family because I have Otto all day today. He’s given me a job that I am obligated to spend time on today. He’s given me a temple called my body that I need to take care of with exercise (grrr, definitely don’t feel like that today.) He’s also called me to do some kingdom work each day and I have no way of knowing what that looks like if I stay in bitch mode. I try to think of each day as a paragraph in this book that God has written called, “Sherry's Life.”
At the end of the week, all those paragraphs add up to a chapter and I believe if I could proofread it each week, I would probably want to edit it. So, I’m going to just do my best today, be grateful for this stage of life, and try to get over the desire to edit and make it all rosy and beautiful at the end of the week. That's not real life.
Real life right now is me getting off my butt and getting busy.
I heard a podcast this week where the speaker had this theory that to do anything, to stop procrastinating or avoiding what we need to do you use this: You count down 5-4-3-2-1 and say blastoff and then no matter what get up immediately and do it!
I’m going to try it today, right after I finish my coffee.
Peace on your weekend,
Sherry